9/11/11

My husband is on a plane right now to Washington D.C. It's been kind of a weird day for me. It didn't even click that it was the 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks until someone mentioned it to me before church began. I'm not usually like this (okay sometimes I am) but the waterworks started soon after that.

Not so much for fear of Ken flying although I did shed some tears that we had friends over for dinner and games last night. Like, what if something did happen to him...I would forever regret not spending our last evening together wrapped up in our own little family. We have a nasty habit of doing that most of the time anyways, so having friends over was actually a goal I have made to get us out of our shell. We did have so much fun with our friends and are super happy we did it, but when faced with mortal thoughts you could probably understand my thinking, right???

Most of my tears were actually ones of gratitude, I am so thankful to have a supportive and loving husband. There was a Port Authority Police Officer that died while rescuing people from the World Trade Center that has the same name as my husband. I think of his family and fiancee every time the anniversary rolls around, or when a co-worker googles his name and makes a comment to Ken about it. In fact the Police Officer's family has started a non-profit foundation in his honor. You can look it up, it's www.ken{our last name}.org It's kind of surreal.

I remember snuggling in bed with my baby boys when Ken called me from his work and told me to turn on the TV. The boys had been sick the night before. Darin was 2 1/2 years old and Nathan had just turned 1 the month before. I cried all day long, we spent the entire day in my room quietly playing and cuddling together. I remember thinking of the mothers of the terrorists. Were they heartbroken at the actions of their sons or did they encourage them down that path? Did they even have mothers to tell them that they were a child of God or had they lost them? I always think of the mothers when I see something horrific.

I also thought of the mothers of the good men and woman who lost their lives. Would I be able to raise my sons to be like them? Would my sons think first of saving others before thinking of themselves? Would they be fearless/brave and sweet/tender? Would I be able to handle losing my precious son?

I truly cherished that when the world seemed to fall apart that I could hold my babies close to me and protect them. But at the same I looked forward to their future and prayed that their generation would change the world for the better. I thought of that today when I started to cry during the Sacrament service because the Young Men who passed it to our family was so sweet and patient with my Ginger. He made her smile and shyly giggle. It wasn't a huge thing (he probably doesn't even know what he did), but it was a simple act that showed his tender nature.

This summer with our trips to Washington D.C. has really brought home what a unique country we are blessed to live in. I've always thought that, but I guess it was more intensified. It is so easy to see the varying opinions and morals that divide our country and think that our government must be falling apart. But when we were in D.C. it really hit home that ever since the beginning of when we Declared our Independence that there was strife. Looking back it's hard to imagine that there were weeks, if not months when the Constitutional Congress could not agree on what to declare or how to secede. The Declaration of Independence is such a given truth to us now but I can imagine it was probably just as hotly debated as some of our current issues. It totally blew my mind that it took the 13 colonies 4 years (seriously, FOUR years!) to ratify the Articles of Confederation. Could you imagine if that happened today? We also learned that there were so many compromises that had to be made and took a hundred years to make up for it. For instance that many of our founding fathers wanted to abolish slavery in 1776.

I really do feel so blessed for the freedoms that we enjoy. I truly believe that our country was founded with our Heavenly Father's guiding hand. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"

And lastly, I am so thankful for our military men and women. I am able to live my quiet, happy life with my family because of the sacrifices they are willing to make. Not just with their life, but also with some of their freedoms. My heart just aches for fathers and mothers who are deployed and missing out on important milestones that are happening in their family. It especially aches for those who give the ultimate sacrifice of their life.



P.S. I also thought of my niece who was born on this day. Can you imagine what her mother, Tina thought and felt when she was in the hospital delivering her first child? Happy Double-Digit Birthday Kaylee!!!