If I had known how sweet having Ken as my life-long and eternal companion would be, I would have stalked him even more than I already did! How naive I was jumping into marriage with him, but how delightful it has been! If you know us at all, you know that you probably couldn't get more stalkerish then me:)
Here is 15 unforgettable moments from the past 15 years of being married to my wonderful husband:
- When I was pregnant with our first child and not particularly happy with my changing body and finances were fairly tight. I didn't want to buy maternity clothes. Ken woke-up early and went to work before I ever even woke-up and worked many, many hours of overtime. Then he took me shopping to lots of different stores for a few days until I finally found something that made me feel like only a beached seal instead of a whale.
- With all four of our children he has never left me and our newborn at the hospital. Not even for a second to run home and check on our other kids, shower, eat, or do anything else. He has given us 100% of his attention, it requires a bit of planning and forethought with more kids. He is super protective of our newborns and me. So when I was worried that our blond hair, blue eyed Rose may have been switched at birth (seriously, not kidding about that) he would patiently reassure me that he had never let her out of his sight for a second. And he had to reassure me quite a bit those first 9 months--like daily.
- Over the course of 15 years I would estimate that Ken has given me 5,000+ foot rubs. It started when we were dating and has become our nightly routine to talk about our day each night while Ken rubs lotion on my feet. I've become so accustomed to it that when he is away on business trips I have to put lotion on my feet before I can fall asleep. Our kids like to sleep in my room when he is gone too, so often they will fight over who gets to do it for me.
- Ken's determination to graduate from BYU. Having taken off a few semesters he needed a 3.86 GPA to be admitted as a transfer. He kept getting denied because his GPA was low due to an English class that he didn't drop at Ricks. He was so determined to not let this get in his way that while working his full-time job at Novell in Provo he commuted to Idaho Falls once a week to take an evening extension class from Ricks over the summer. It meant he left at 1pm and didn't return home until 3am. It was the least that I could do to drive him. The first 4 hours on the drive up he would on school or work but on the 4 hour long drive home we had the best time talking, reading magazine articles, and cracking jokes. We had so much fun that we were almost sad when the summer was over. This was when Darin was 3 1/2 and Nathan was barely 2 years old too. We did crazy things to get Ken through school while he worked full-time, but that man of mine totally proved to me that we could overcome any obstacle together and have fun in the process!
- I'll never forget that day that Ken came home from work telling me that he had lost his job. The sadness that washed over him, the faith that he showed, and how he sought my help. Up until then we had faced fairly minor challenges as a couple. At the time I felt super ill-equipped to help my husband. But, Ken insisted that he needed my help and support in every aspect of this trial. Because he included me in all of his worries and struggles we became even closer. And here is the kicker, he attributes all of his success in overcoming that and in being so successful in his present job to me!
- Whenever I am sick Ken cares for me so well. He takes me to the doctor because of course I refuse to believe I'm really as sick as I am until it is too late and I'm even worse. Someone once told me that they sleep in separate bedrooms whenever one of them is sick. That strikes me as so foreign and thankfully we have no reason to be that cautious. Because I don't think I would ever recover without Ken caring for me; keeping me hydrated, rubbing my achy body, bringing me comfort food, and watching a marathon of TV shows with me. He makes being sick almost fun! We got hooked on so many shows like Gilmore Girls, CSI, Lost, White Collar, and Downton Abbey are just a few because we ended up watching a whole season in just a few days. He also tells me how beautiful I am all the time when I am sick, which I know is soooo NOT true with my pale skin, puffy eyes, and slimy nose.
- Earlier this year I put this on my facebook update, "Tonight I realized that the nice pitcher that I was frantically looking for this morning for me luncheon was sitting in the fridge filled with chilled water the whole day. When I asked Ken about it later he told me he had filled it up for me since he knew I was hosting the lunch and it brought tears to my eyes. I wonder how many times I overlook all the little things he does to show he cares for me. And how in the world did I get so lucky???"
- I didn't realize until just now that we have spent 1/3 of our marriage working through infertility issues (on my side). Wow, that's kind of overwhelming to think about that:(. But it's true, we tried for three years between Nathan and Rose, and it's been two years most recently. It has not been an easy road to travel, especially because our children have given us so much joy, but Ken has been my shoulder to cry on, my comforter, and my rock.
- Up until Ken took his current job we had only been apart for 9 nights in 9 years of marriage. In fact he would go through heroic lengths to ensure that he always came home the same day when companies flew him out for whatever. With taking a telecommuting job we knew that we were going to have to compromise on the no overnight travel. He travels about 20 nights out of the year now, but it is much easier to handle. Mainly because we talk for 2-3 hours each night. It doesn't matter if he is in the US or overseas (he just buys a calling card). I love that he hates the fancy-schmancy dinners people insist on taking him out to because he would rather talk to me. Clearly it's because of my riveting conversation about the stupid and mundane things of life, or funny random thoughts. Or my silence. We actually will sit on the phone with speakerphone on doing our own separate things, but just knowing he is there helps me get through the evening.
- My husband will be bone-tired and he will still bend over backwards for me. Like the time when I ended up being in charge of a 9,000 lb. food order from the church cannery. This is when the cannery was 2 hours away. Ken ended up loading up a large trailer with cases of food. Then unloaded it because the count was off, and re-loaded it again. All while watching our 4 children (who due to an emergency ended up having to tag along with us) and I was busy inside helping people can their food. After a long afternoon of shuffling boxes of food for other people and we were finally on our way home we stopped to get ice cream cones for the kids from McDonald's. We ended up one cone short and Ken insisted that I take his. I totally tried to get him to take the ice cream cone and he refused. We compromised on sharing it. Meaning I ate some so that way he would take some. I can barely think of that time without tears coming to my eyes. He does things like this all the time.
- Raising our children has been such a bonding experience. Ken has always been such a strong partner when it has come to caring for our children. When they were babies he would wake in the middle of the night with me (if not before me, he heard their cries sooner then I did), he never complains about diaper changes, kids throwing up on him, or any of that. So it really is not a surprise that caring for our son after his seizures would be any different. It touches me a little more tenderly though because I can see how much it affects Nathan that his Dad cares so much. First, Ken always sets me up with them so that I can comfort and cuddle our children while he runs around doing the misc. stuff (getting water, blankets, medicine). But when Nathan has his seizures or is even just scared that one is coming on Ken will also rub Nathan's lower leg (where they begin). Often for 2+ hours at a time in the middle of the night. I will drift in and out of sleep holding our son but Ken keeps a steady constant watch.
- Ken is my biggest playmate. I love to have fun and it doesn't always go hand in hand with being a responsible adult. Ken is always up for kicking loose with me. Staying up every night until 3am playing our kids Wii the week before we gave it to them for Christmas, seeing 3 movies in a row on a Saturday, spending the first rainy day every year playing hooky, etc. We always have so much fun together! And the best part is that he understands and encourages me to have fun with our children instead of worrying about chores and how clean the house is.
- He supports me in all my crazy ideas. Even the super horrible ones like hosting a family with 10 kids at our home the week before vacation and putting our house on the market. He even comforts me about my bad decisions even when he would totally be within bounds to point out the flaws in my thinking. I know I would totally jump all over him for much lesser things, but Ken is such a better spouse. Actually, he is just a really good man. It's weird because I would have probably said 50 other traits that I love about him when we were first married and actually most of our marriage. It wasn't until he was supporting me while I was Primary President that it really dawned on me to use that adjective of being a "Good" Man! He truly is.
- Ken is an awesome listener, especially to the kids. Ha! Ha! He'll laugh about that because I get annoyed with the kids that they spend 30 minutes in his office after they get off the bus everyday. I always feel like I am an having to shoo them out and get on with their afternoon responsibilities and it's not like they aren't going to have the opportunity to talk with him in 90 minutes at dinner. But Ken truly is our confident. We all tell him our greatest desires and worries, nothing feels real until we've told Dad. Ken treats our most intimate thoughts and feelings with respect and tenderness.
- Last year I went running with Ken for the first time. Honestly, I'm just not a runner. But I especially thought there was no way I would ever run with my WAY more fit husband. Boy was I wrong! It was so much dang fun! Not because I miraculously ran a 7 (or 12:) minute mile. Ken adjusted his pace to mine and we talked and laughed the whole time. He made me feel sexy and funny and fit!
There are so many more experiences that have shaped our marriage. I feel so blessed to be loved by Ken! Happy Anniversary My Darling!
Love,
Stephanie
1 comment:
ken is a keeper! you both are so lucky to have each other - a "perfect" fit!!!
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