Off Our Rockers (Hopefully NOT!) Darin's 15th Birthday Present Part 1

Tonight is the eve of Darin's 15th birthday.  Or as I like to remind him I was already at the hospital and in labor for 7 hours by now so technically you could be opening your presents, except you still hadn't been born.  Hey, when a kid comes 12 days after his due date he has to live with the consequences:)

It's no secret that Ken and I have been anticipating our children's 15th birthday for a long time.  Mainly because it signifies that they can get their Driver's Permit which is so close to turning 16 and being able to get their Driver's License.  Ken and I whole-heartedly agree that our kids should be responsible enough by 15 to drive and we want them actively working towards that in the years leading up to it.  We have no limitations really other then being mature and responsible, we could care less if they get their Eagle before they can drive which seems to be a limitation many parents have.  See post here for what our boys think it means to be responsible.

Anyway, for Darin's Birthday we got him a car!    

Not just any car, but a Mustang! 

Okay the Mustang part was totally Ken's idea because silly old mom was looking at Honda Accords and nice little commuter cars like that.

For years I have made Ken promise me that whatever car we chose for our children to drive would have airbags. Technically this car does have airbags!  This is totally proof of why kids need their fathers (and mothers) in the home!

Since Darin was 4 years old we have told him that he would be getting teeth when he turns 16 instead of a car.  We actually will probably get him teeth since he needs an implant.  Darin still has dreamed about cars and at one point a few years ago he was considering saving up to buy one.  Of course this was worrisome to us since we kind of view cars as a money pit and our son has extremely limited resources.  It appears all of our talk about the expense of owning a car sunk in because a month ago when I asked Darin if he was still thinking of saving up and buying a car he said, "Not right now, but I think maybe after my mission.  It's just too expensive to take care of a car."

We knew that since the whole idea of getting a car as a present would be so completely foreign to everyone that we really needed to tell the other kids beforehand so that on Darin's birthday they could focus on him instead of going crazy bugging us with questions.  After we dropped Darin off to go to the dance tonight we let Nathan read the letter that we are giving to Darin explaining our crazy decision.  All day long we were teasing Darin about how when he went to the dance we were going to break out his presents and let his siblings play with them:)

 What?!?

 Couldn't stop smiling.

 No way!

Seriously, it's his favorite color!  I can't believe Nathan was going crazy over it being his favorite color.  Umm, what about the fact we are getting him a car!

The Johansen's in our old ward were so kind to let us park the car at their house the past few weeks after we bought it.  We picked it up from their home, washed it, and dropped it off at the high school parking lot.  We took the kids up to the school and this is when Nathan saw that it was a sports car!  He was totally shocked.  When I asked Nathan later what he thought he said, "You guys are kind of nuts, but I do think Darin deserves it!"  Not quite a ringing endorsement from our kids.

And then he nearly broke the handle off the door (seriously, he did).  We'll just add that to the list of things for Darin to fix.  Ken took us on a pretty wild ride and spun us in circles.  I also drove it for the first time and realized that once you drive a stick shift you always know how to drive one.  It's been a good 10 years since I have driven one and it didn't take me hardly any time to remember.

Here's the letter we are giving Darin:

Happy 15^th Birthday Darin!

We love you very much!  We remember so clearly when you were born, you have grown so much and we are proud of you.  We have especially been proud of you this past year as you have matured, worked hard to grow spiritually, and have become more responsible.  We still love to reminisce about the times when you would line up your matchbox cars and take the tires off and on.  Or the times when instead of writing letters on your school papers how you would turn the dotted lines into roads and draw cars along them.  You have often had a different way of looking at things and we hope that you will know that is a special gift and something that we have always valued as your parents.  We hope you will trust us.  We want this experience to teach you and give you even more responsibility and independence.  This is quite an unconventional birthday present but we hope it will provide you with knowledge and skills that will bless you and your future family.

We don’t give this gift lightly, it is something that we have thought about for years (a decade really), worried about, researched and planned, and most importantly have prayed about.  We feel very blessed to provide you with this opportunity.  We felt like our prayers were answered when we found the exact car we were looking for, in our price range, and even your favorite color! 

This car will need some work and we have been very proud of how careful you have been with the money you earn and your dedication to save for your mission.  We also know that you are worried about your expenses (as you should be) and have been careful to budget for your expenses and activities.  We DO NOT want fixing the car to be a financial burden to you, so here is the deal:  We (Dad and Mom) will pay for all parts and equipment needed for your car. You (Darin) will pay for all the labor that is required.  Obviously, the most frugal way to pay for the labor would be for you to learn how to do the work and we are hoping this will be the choice that you will make.  We have provided you with a detailed maintenance and repair manual and Dad is willing to help you when you get stuck.  You will have to take the initiative, and will be solely responsible for researching the problems and finding replacement parts.  Dad can help answer your questions and direct you.  Mom is willing to help you find the best deals on parts and to teach you how to find parts at a junkyard (you and your brother used to love going to salvage yards with Mom when you were younger, do you remember?)

We have also created a plan for you to essentially “earn” your car and get it in working order.  There are deadlines so that you will have plenty of time to learn and practice driving a stick shift and also so that your car (and you) will be completely safe and ready to drive independently when you turn 16.  As with all privileges in our home we will trust you to use your things as you see fit when you make good decisions.

The title of the car will remain in Dad’s name until you turn 18.  When you turn 18 it will truly become your car 100%.  At that time you can decide if you want to sell it, should you want to use the proceeds for your mission or college.  Or you may keep it and use it free and clear.  We hope you will recognize that how you maintain and drive your car over the next 3 years will determine how valuable of an asset it can become to you as you enter adulthood.

                                                                                                We love you very much!

                                                                                                      Dad and Mom

PS- This is your opportunity to have your own car.  Your siblings will have their own opportunity when the time comes if they have earned it like you have.  You are a kind brother and we only say this so that you know that your work will solely be for your benefit.

 

This is a picture of the checklist:

We have a lot of hopes and dreams for our son (and other children) riding on this little experiment.  Obviously we want them to learn some practical skills, but we also want them to feel the full weight of owning a car, learn that they are capable of tackling hard projects that they know nothing about, be self-sufficient, gain a ton of independence, etc.  If this car lives up to all that we have hoped for then it will be well worth the money spent.

As luck would have it the previous owner had already purchased headlamps for the car and an awesome manual and gave it to us.  Three presents for the price of one!  I had planned on wrapping the presents and leaving them out for Darin to see 12 days before his birthday (on his original due date) because that is my kind of evil:)  Unfortunately I was too busy with all the kids school stuff and the weather days that I never had a chance too.  I did tease him vocally whenever I had the chance though.