Just wanted to write down really quick the kids' goals for February. It's totally optional for the children to participate however if they don't then they miss out on the bonus program with their Dad.
This month the girls demanded that they get formal goals, the previous month Rose had made up some on her own and there was a lot of negotiating on both sides as to how much she could earn and the appropriateness of them at the end of the month. She wasn't having any of that this month and wanted it written down and set-up with her Dad at the beginning of the month just like brothers.
The children have to come up with their goals on their own. Basically they can choose anything that gets them from where they are at presently to becoming a successful adult. We don't give them any guidelines and actually discourage them from choosing things that we think, they think, we think, they need to work on. That probably sounds quite confusing. For instance if we got after them for something recently, we are super hesitant to let them choose a goal to improve in that area.
If they are stuck we'll give them broad categories to choose from such as: managing their time, educational pursuits, learning the gospel, working on relationships, adjustments to attitudes, learning new skills, becoming independent, etc.
This process takes probably 30-45 minutes per child, so it takes most of a Sunday evening. Mostly because there is a lot of discussion back and forth of how Dad will measure if they fulfilled their goal at the end of the month.
It's been pretty interesting to see what they have come up with. Here's their goals for the month of February:
Ginger- Memorize Two Articles of Faith. She ended up memorizing the 3rd and the 8th. How she decided on those two was kind of random but I think they were working on the 3rd this month in Primary. Ginger LOVES, LOVES, LOVES memorizing scriptures. In some respects it was an easy goal for her, but Ken told her at the beginning that she would have to do it absolutely perfectly not a single word missed and she did it.
Rose- To Be Nice to Ginger Everyday. Rose had a blank calendar for the month of February where she tracked how she had been for the day. Each night before they said their personal prayers before bed she was supposed to ask Ginger if she was nice to her that day or not and she would draw a smiley face or a sad face. It was super cute. I wish I had taken a picture of it before she threw it away. Rose was really proud of herself and even mentioned her goal in a talk she gave in Primary. That's not to say that she was perfect, but she did pretty good! We are proud of her efforts this month to be nice to her sister. It was also a good opportunity to talk to her about improving a little everyday.
Nathan-
1. To not argue so much. He decided that he would journal 3 times during the week about this and reflect each Sunday on how he did. He ended up journaling about it pretty good, but forgot to reflect on it. Again, this was a good opportunity to talk to him about the small efforts he did make. We have noticed that his arguing has improved quite a bit. Especially when it comes to being defensive. It's a super good sign of our young man growing up.
2. To read the scriptures daily and write a one line sentence in his journal about his thoughts or impressions. Nathan also did okay at this. His personal scripture study was a HUGE improvement. However, the actionable part that he had come up with to be judged on turned out to be a little harder than he thought. Unfortunately he only wrote down his one-liners 1/3 of the month.
Darin-
1. To Get His Learner's License. Darin had no problem achieving this one. He was super excited and this was the culmination of a few months of working towards getting his driver's permit. He is doing the online/parent taught driver's ed. We have been super impressed with how much he has hounded us and been prepared to get this. The hardest thing for him was actually getting his parents in-line to do their part.
2. Memorize 15 scripture Mastery. We thought 15 was kind of a lot but Darin swore that it would not be a problem. So Ken let him set his goal and we left him to do it. In the end Darin ended up perfectly memorizing 5 scripture mastery. Which we thought was awesome! Unfortunately, not what he negotiated with his dad though so he only got partial credit.
Anyway, Ken and I are super pleased with our kids and the goals they have chosen. Actually we have been really happy with the whole process and with what it is teaching them about goal-setting and actionable items. It's funny because we have to keep talking to them about how this isn't a thing where they are graded on a scale like A,B, you Fail. But this is a process where they are supposed to grow and they need to be realistic about their schedules and time demands. Overall even when they "failed" at the actionable items we have been really proud of them. In those cases they can't get all the bonus $$ set aside for them, but Ken has bumped them up a little bit for having a good attitude and effort. It has also proven that even when you are only 1/3 successful at completing your goal, you are still light years away from where you would have been without a goal.
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