Pain in the...BACK!

This week was rough. I cannot imagine many things being more painful then giving birth to a child...Oh, wait! I am a HUGE fan of epidurals so I wouldn't really know. But let's put it this way. I seriously wished I had been in labor for 36+ hours this week.

I did something Tuesday to hurt my back a little, I was in a moderate amount of pain but just fine--nothing major. I collapsed into bed, it was a long day, Ken was out of town (of course because things like this have to happen when he has a business trip). And I just wanted to lay in bed and give my aching body a rest, in the quiet, without anyone clinging to me. A few hours later I awoke, in my usual fluid and fast movements I went to get out of bed and ended up crashing onto the floor. Why? Because the muscle in my back had seized up so much when I slept that I could not stand upright, my hips were crooked, and I could not put any weight on my left leg.

I had to drag myself slowly up off the ground, shaking with the most unbearable pain I have ever felt. I literally wondered if I had broken a hip. Of course, after I finally got myself back into bed where I could rest and the pain just felt searingly numb, I realized the reason I was hopping out of bed in the middle of the night was because I had to go to the bathroom.

Luckily, our girls had snuck back into bed with me (like they do almost every single night). They had woken up with my wailing and kept asking me, "What's wrong Mommy?" I was crying, "Mommy can't move." Then Ginger would jump up on the bed and smile, "I can move Mommy! Move, Move, I can move my body." It was incredibly cute! Rose told me, "Brothers can help." What else would I expect from her. Darin and Nathan are her heroes! And so Ginger moved herself up the stairs and woke-up Darin at 3:30 in the morning to come rescue her Mommy.

3:30 am was just the beginning of Darin and Nathan being my heroes and Rose and Ginger being so helpful. The boys anxiously helped me for 30 minutes as I eased out of bed and made my way to my toilet room. It normally takes like 8 steps for me to get to it. And I could make 5 of those by supporting as much of my weight on my arms as I clung onto nearby furniture. The last three posed the most difficulty for me. My sweet, sweet boys got down on their knees and offered me their shoulders as support. I didn't ask them too. They told me how to move and they positioned themselves right where I would need them. And so I was able to slowly shuffle into our toilet room.

Rose and Ginger took over from there. I was amazed at their instincts too. Rose instantly shushed her brothers out of the room much like a mother hen. Then she and Ginger pulled down my underclothing as I struggled to support my weight. I could not have done it by myself. Then when I was done they pulled my clothes back up and dressed me. You have no idea what it meant to me, as I'm writing this I am crying tons of tears at the memory of feeling so helpless and being served by my sweet girls.

The whole rest of my day was full of moments like this. I was in complete agony but, my children were kind and attentive. They didn't fight. AMAZING! My boys even cleaned up my room and family room (because we are totally the clean for company types) at 5:00 am because they knew that people would be coming into our home to help me. Darin kept checking the clock to see when he could call Lola to come help. And they sat with me, watched over me, cuddled up with me, and slept with me. Basically everything that they know would comfort me.

My mother and father did come over and totally helped us out. They fed all of us, my mom must have washed and folded 6 loads of laundry. And she stocked my fridge and cleaned my kitchen. My mom made sure we wouldn't have to cook the rest of the week and she picked up my favorite Filipino food. Papa took the girls out for a few hours so I could concentrate on walking around the house. It was a lifesaver!

My Chiropractor (he's awesome- BTW) came to our house in the middle of the day and stretched me out. He assured me my hip was not broken, it was just a muscle spasm and adjusted me. After a scream-filled (I'm totally not joking) 15 minutes I could walk again-BARELY. For the record, I'm a huge wimp, but I think most people would totally cry too.

So, I was in a massive amount of pain laying in my bed, but it would ease some if I didn't do things like breathe. After the Chiropractor and I could stand it was even worse. And he warned me it would be, but that honestly the only thing that would make me better was if I walked. It was the only way to loosen the muscle. He left me with instructions to walk around my house for the next 3 1/2 hours until I could come to his office for a proper adjustment, and to use ice for 15 minutes every hour.

I can clearly explain the pain of walking. Which is why it was so crucial that Papa had taken the girls to play at the park and to lunch at McDonald's. It's like those first 4 steps you take after you've given birth. The ones that you force yourself to make so that way the nurse will take out the catheter and IV and leave you alone. But you would never take them willingly except you despise this stranger touching your body, the indignity of a catheter, and her constant interruptions of your precious time with your new baby. Then, when you take those first four steps you literally wonder if your body is going to be ripped apart or if that blinding white pain you are feeling is because the dirty look you gave the nurse mader her snap and she decided to stab you. So--that was the first hour and half (that's 90 minutes people!) of me doing laps around the 1st floor.

Here's just a few random thoughts that ran threw my head during that time:
I'm so thankful we have an open floor plan!
What do people do who live in tri-levels? What would it be like if I lived in a condo? What if it was a condo on the beach?
If I make it to the kitchen then I definitely deserve a brownie!
Do I have enough brownies to last 3 hours??? Maybe, because it will probably only be 3 brownies.
I want something salty, maybe I should switch to chips.
I'm so glad I finally got the boys haircut, they look really handsome.
I'm so glad I decided to buy both of them a cell phone yesterday because they are so awesome.
I'm so thankful for my children! Why are my children so nice to me??? I don't want to let my children down. I want to take care of my babies!

And then I remembered the blessing my dear, sweet home teacher gave to me that morning. Ken had called him and he rushed over. He blessed me that I would be led by my children's faith. There were a couple of times when he mentioned that my children would teach me or show me. It is absolutely true! I was lead by them, they strengthened me.

I forced myself to walk and walk even though I didn't want to and it hurt like crazy. Darin and Nathan still cared for me, timing when I needed ice, getting it ready, and putting it on me. They brought me water or got me snacks. They were amazing!

My ward was too! My Visiting Teacher brought us dinner, the RS president sent my friend over to check on us and to take my kids to piano lessons. My counselors took over all the visits I had planned for that evening and things I was worrying about. I have the very best counselors you could ever ask for. My whole presidency is just amazing, they are the sweetest, most uplifting women, and they are so inspired. I have felt truly blessed by my ward family!

Ken had made arrangements to come home early from his business trip and didn't get in until late that night. I was slightly mobile when he came home, like it didn't take me an hour to go and unlock the door for him when he got home, because I totally forgot that I had his keys. Anyway, he set alarms so that he would wake-up, and walk me around the house for 15 minutes followed by ice for 15 minutes every hour or so. This was crucial to me recovering fast. It didn't give my muscles any time to seize up again. Ken continued the alarm routine all through the night and into the next day until 1:30 pm when I finally had enough strength to be awake for a little bit.

He handled all of the kid routines and basically the kids for the rest of the week. Of course, he made taking care of me fun for the kids by getting us all in the pool a couple of times to stretch me and do more therapy, and took me to my Dr. appointments too. Although, for that one he looked like he might just kill the guy after he heard me crying from being stretched out in the back room. It's probably a good thing the Chiro doc is a big guy:-)

So, am I better? Yes! Still some pain, especially when sitting or coughing, because did I mention I've also been sick during this whole thing--it's been lovely! But I can move again, I am so thankful for my body!!!

P.S.- Rose and Ginger still come running when I am in the bathroom to help me get dressed:-)
And my family now uses the term "time to walk Mom" on a frequent basis. Like I'm the dog or something!